Feedback should help people grow, not just remind them where they fell short. But in many veterinary practices, feedback becomes a moment of frustration, confusion, or stress for both the giver and the receiver. Even with the best intentions, we often walk away from those conversations without seeing the change we hoped for.

The truth is, most feedback doesn’t work the way we think it should. Not because our team members don’t care. Not because they aren’t listening. But because we’re still using a model of feedback that focuses on correction instead of improvement.

So how do we change that?

Seven Things to Remember When you Give Feedback to Your Veterinary Team

Let’s walk through seven things every veterinary leader should keep in mind when giving feedback. These ideas can help turn uncomfortable conversations into opportunities for real growth.

1. Their Ideas About What to Do Next Matter Most

We can tell people what to do. We can even be right about it. But lasting change only happens when the plan belongs to them.

Think about the difference between saying, “Here’s how you should have handled that client,” versus asking, “What do you think might work better next time?” One invites compliance. The other invites ownership.

People don’t create new habits because someone else had a good idea. They create new habits because they’ve decided it’s worth doing, and they’ve chosen the approach that makes sense to them.

If you're not seeing change, ask yourself: Did I tell them a plan, or did I help them build their own?

2. You Can Help Them Move From Intention to a Plan

We’ve all heard someone say, “I’ll try to pay more attention,” or “I want to do better next time.” But wanting isn’t the same as changing.

Feedback becomes effective when we move beyond intention and help someone think through what they’ll actually do next. What steps will they take? What will they practice differently?

It might sound like this: 

• “Let’s walk through your process together. What part do you think could be adjusted to avoid this outcome?”
• “What would it take to make sure this goes right every time?” 

These conversations are how better outcomes begin, not with a lecture, but with a specific plan that the person owns.

3. Questions Help Them Think More Than Statements

Statements can feel like judgments. Questions feel like invitations.

When we tell someone what they did wrong, their brain often shifts into defense mode. They stop thinking about what they could do better and start thinking about how to protect themselves.

But when we ask thoughtful questions, we activate the part of the brain where learning and problem-solving happen. We create space for reflection rather than resistance.

Try: 

• “What was your thought process here?”
• “How did that outcome line up with what you expected?”
• “What would you change if you were in that same situation again?”

Questions don’t just feel better. They work better. They spark the thinking that leads to better choices.

4. If You Cause Fear or Create Stress, You’ve Lost Them

It’s easy to believe that strong, urgent feedback will get better results. But fear shuts down learning. Stress shuts down collaboration.

When someone feels threatened or exposed, they aren't hearing what you're saying. They’re focused on escaping the moment, defending themselves, or trying to make the conversation end as quickly as possible.

This isn’t about softening your standards. It’s about being strategic. If the goal is improvement - not punishment - then your approach should reflect that. Calm, curious, and focused feedback helps people stay present, and that’s where progress happens.

5. Compliance and Commitment On Your Veterinary Team Are Different

Someone might follow instructions because they want to avoid trouble. That’s compliance. But if they don’t believe in the change or feel any ownership over it, the result is short-lived.

They might do the right thing once, then retreat. They become disengaged, skeptical, or simply less motivated to give their best. In time, the practice loses more than just performance. It loses energy, trust, and team cohesion.

Your goal isn’t just to get someone to do the thing. It’s to help them want to do it better.

Commitment shows up when people feel respected, included, and part of the solution. That doesn’t happen when we’re telling. It happens when we’re helping.

6. You Cannot Win and Help at the Same Time

If you’re focused on proving your point, you’re no longer focused on helping them improve.

It’s natural to want people to see our perspective, especially when we care deeply about outcomes. But trying to win the conversation, convince someone we’re right, or make them admit fault will almost always backfire.

Instead of clarity, we get defensiveness. Instead of improvement, we get resistance. Let go of the need to be right. Choose the opportunity to be effective.

When the focus shifts to their growth - not your opinion - feedback starts to create the changes you’ve been hoping for all along.

7. Timing Matters

Even the best feedback won’t land if someone isn’t in a place to hear it. Stress, fatigue, or a tough moment can make learning impossible.

It’s okay to wait. In fact, sometimes it’s the smartest move you can make.

If someone is visibly upset, distracted, or flooded with emotion, try a permission-based approach: 

• “Would it be helpful to talk through this later, once you’ve had time to reflect?”
• “I’d love to work through this together. Is now a good time?” 

Asking for permission isn’t weakness, it’s leadership. You’re creating a space where people can engage, not just react. And you’re building a habit of dialogue that leads to better outcomes over time.

Feedback That Moves Your Veterinary Practice Forward

When feedback becomes a habit that supports ownership, thoughtfulness, and action, everything starts to shift. Performance improves. Accountability grows. Team members feel more invested, not just in avoiding mistakes, but in pursuing their best work.

And that’s what great veterinary leaders do. They create environments where feedback helps people succeed, not just stay out of trouble.

It takes practice. It takes patience. But if you start by asking better questions, choosing the right moments, and letting people own their next steps, you’ll begin to see real change. One conversation at a time.

Looking for more ways to lead with clarity, confidence, and impact? VetLead membership gives you access to leadership tools, courses, and support designed for the realities of veterinary practice. Join a community of veterinary professionals building better teams and stronger futures together.

What do you think? Other veterinary pros want to hear from you! Share your experience in the comments below.