Ever had one of those days when it feels like the universe is conspiring against you and your veterinary practice? The schedule falls apart, a client melts down, and your team seems just as frazzled as you are. Suddenly, all that talk about self-leadership, positive habits, and staying at your best feels miles away from reality.

If you’ve been there - or if you’re living that day right now - you’re not alone. Veterinary medicine is unpredictable. It can move from calm to chaotic in a heartbeat. And while we spend a lot of time talking about how to lead ourselves and our teams on the good days, the real work happens when things get tough.

So let’s focus on that. Not the perfect days, but the ones where you’re tested. The days that ask, “Are you going to practice self-leadership now, or just wait for things to get easier?” Because the truth is, anyone can talk about self-leadership. But showing up for yourself and your team when everything feels out of control? That’s where leadership is built.

Why Self-Leadership Matters Most on Your Hardest Days

It’s easy to think that if we could just fix the environment, smooth out the schedule, avoid emergencies, stop the stress, then we’d feel better. But that’s not how veterinary medicine works. Our field is full of things we can’t control.

What we can control, even on our toughest days, is how we show up. The way we respond, the choices we make, and the habits we practice are all within reach, no matter what the day throws at us. That’s self-leadership. And it matters most when your practice feels like a storm.

Some days will still be a struggle. There will be moments when you don’t feel at your best, when you’re frustrated or just flat-out tired. That’s normal. But it’s also the space where the most important leadership happens, starting with yourself.

Four Steps for Regaining Control When Everything Feels Off

When the wheels come off, here’s a process to help get you back on track:

1. Pause and Consider What’s Really Happening

Take a breath. Recognize the day for what it is. Say it out loud if you need to: “Right now, this is hard. Things are not going as planned.” Sometimes just acknowledging the reality without judgment creates a bit of space to reset. You’re not failing. You’re dealing with a tough day in a tough profession.

This first step is your moment to take ownership of your experience, instead of letting your stress or frustration run the show. Accountability doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means noticing what’s real and giving yourself a chance to respond on purpose. Even a small act, like writing down one thing that went right before you leave for the day, can help you refocus and see that not everything is off track.

2. Ask a Different Question

Your brain loves to fill in gaps, especially on stressful days. If you’re not careful, the questions that pop up are usually, “Why is this happening to me?” or “Why can’t anyone get it together today?” Those don’t help.

Self-leadership shows up here, in the questions you choose to ask yourself. Instead of blaming circumstances or other people, pick a question that helps you move forward:

• “What’s one thing I can control or improve right now?” 
• “What do my team or patients need most at this moment?” 
• “How do I want to show up for the next hour?”

It can help to ask these out loud or jot them down as a reset. And remember, you don’t have to fix everything. Just focus on the next step that’s within your reach.

3. Choose a Small Action

When things feel overwhelming, bring your focus down to something you can actually do right now. Maybe that means checking in with a teammate who looks like they’re struggling. Maybe it’s stepping outside for sixty seconds and taking a real breath before your next client or patient. Or maybe it’s starting a quick huddle with your team - not to vent, but to ask, “What do we need most right now?” The point is to pick something, no matter how small, that you can act on.

This is what accountability looks like. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about taking ownership of what you do next. On chaotic days, these little habits and actions are what help you turn things around for yourself and the people around you.

4. Step Back and Refocus on the Big Picture

Even when you’ve made small adjustments, some days will still feel off. That’s normal. The difference comes when you step back, look at the bigger picture, and ask yourself questions that help you move forward with intention, not just reaction.

Try asking yourself: 

• What did I learn about myself or my team today? 
• Where did I make progress, even if it was small? 
• What can I carry forward into tomorrow, so I’m a little stronger or more prepared? 
• How do I want to finish the day, regardless of how it started? 

The goal here isn’t to find perfect answers. It’s to close out your day with purpose, to recognize your effort, and to set a clear intention for how you’ll move forward, no matter what today brought.

When You Fall Short

Even with the best processes and intentions, we all slip up. You might lose your patience, skip your self-check, or let stress dictate your next move. That doesn’t make you a bad leader. It makes you human.

The difference is in what you do next. Self-leadership is a practice, not a destination. You don’t have to get it right all the time. The win is in coming back to your process, asking the right questions, and making the next choice, no matter how far off track you feel.

The Bottom Line: Practice Matters More Than Perfection

Veterinary work is unpredictable. There will always be days that knock you sideways. The goal isn’t to avoid hard days, it’s to show up for yourself and your team, even when things aren’t ideal.

Self-leadership isn’t something you achieve once and keep forever. It’s a choice you make, sometimes a hundred times a day. It’s asking better questions, making the next good choice, and giving yourself permission to start again when you fall short.

You don’t have to do it all at once. Just pick one thing from today’s list and practice it the next time your day gets off track. That’s where real leadership begins.

Want to share what works for you when your day feels out of control? I’d love to hear about the resets, questions, or habits that help you and your team thrive.

What do you think? Other veterinary pros want to hear from you! Share your experience in the comments below.